Wednesday, March 07, 2007

"Sparkling Beverages" Forsooth!

An article in today's New York Times begins thus:

Healthy soda?

That may strike some as an oxymoron. But for Coca-Cola and PepsiCo, it's a marketing opportunity.

In coming months, both companies will introduce new carbonated drinks that are fortified with vitamins and minerals: Diet Coke Plus and Tava, which is PepsiCo's new offering.

They will be promoted as ''sparkling beverages.'' The companies are not calling them soft drinks because people are turning away from traditional soda, which has been hurt in part by publicity about its link to obesity.

Two points:

1) I love the idea of soda as health food. It takes soda back to its roots, when it was Everyman's Elixir, the tonic of Johnny Lunchpail; when it aided digestion and pepped up sluggish livers. Sipping one of these sodas will be the perfect occasion for me to wear my seersucker suit. But:

2) "Sparkling beverages"? That reminds me of when I was in college at the height of the PC frenzy, when certain female undergraduates were unhappy that an individual of their gender was referred to as a "woman" because the word contained the word "man." So they tried "woperson," but that contained the word "son." So what did they end up with? "Woperdaughter." Catchy, right?

Let me just say that I will never change the name of this blog to Sparkling Beverages Pop Culture Online Reportage and Opinionation Vehicle.

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