Category: Flavored Cola/Energy Drink
Ratings (out of 5)
Fizziness Factor: 4
Bottle/Can Design: 5
Two (2) reasons I absolutely could not walk past this soda:
1) the blue and orange color scheme; and
2) my love of the word "monkey."
I've always loved "monkey," and it has always been a part of my dreams of glory. My first (as yet unsold!) screenplay was called, in the tradition of movies named after songs, "Everybody Has Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey." It's about a guy who liberates six pygmy marmosets from a zoo—but wait, I have already said too much. I have always imagined that when I get my studio deal, my company will be Stunt Monkey productions, and our logo will be a monkey in a cape doing a wheelie on a motorcycle. Of course, somebody sorta got there first.
But on to the soda. Howling Monkey tastes like a slightly flat cola. It has green tea in it, which gives it a faint metallic aftertaste (kinda like licking a battery—and I mean that in a good way). It has all the hot-button energy drink ingredients: caffeine, taurine, ginseng, guarana, D-Ribose, L-Carnitine, J. Lo, and P. Diddy. It also has quinine in it, so it's nice to know that I probably won't get malaria in the next day or so. All in all, Howling Monkey was like haggis: I'm glad I tried it once, but I don't really see the need to try it again. Also, the website was really promising but wouldn't let me past the splash page. (Total Score 14/20)
Suggested Food Pairings: Screaming bananas