Tuesday, April 03, 2007

POP OF THE DAY: Howling Monkey Energizing Cola

Category: Flavored Cola/Energy Drink
Ratings (out of 5)
Taste: 3
Fizziness Factor: 4
Bottle/Can Design: 5
Availability: 2

Two (2) reasons I absolutely could not walk past this soda:

1) the blue and orange color scheme; and
2) my love of the word "monkey."

I've always loved "monkey," and it has always been a part of my dreams of glory. My first (as yet unsold!) screenplay was called, in the tradition of movies named after songs, "Everybody Has Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey." It's about a guy who liberates six pygmy marmosets from a zoo—but wait, I have already said too much. I have always imagined that when I get my studio deal, my company will be Stunt Monkey productions, and our logo will be a monkey in a cape doing a wheelie on a motorcycle. Of course, somebody sorta got there first.

But on to the soda. Howling Monkey tastes like a slightly flat cola. It has green tea in it, which gives it a faint metallic aftertaste (kinda like licking a battery—and I mean that in a good way). It has all the hot-button energy drink ingredients: caffeine, taurine, ginseng, guarana, D-Ribose, L-Carnitine, J. Lo, and P. Diddy. It also has quinine in it, so it's nice to know that I probably won't get malaria in the next day or so. All in all, Howling Monkey was like haggis: I'm glad I tried it once, but I don't really see the need to try it again. Also, the website was really promising but wouldn't let me past the splash page. (Total Score 14/20)

Suggested Food Pairings: Screaming bananas

24 comments:

Duff said...

I love this stuff- not because of the taste or the caffeine content, but because of the hilarious graphics. A crazy monkey? Count me in! Any idea where I can find this stuff? I haven't seen it in a while.

Anonymous said...

I first found it in big lots...good stuff. The website is cool as well.

Anonymous said...

Hello, my name is Hunter, and I stumbled across this blog entry by accident while researching "Screaming Monkey" for a review I'm writing. I'm writing a soda zine, see, a personal ominibus related to all things fizzy, and amongst other articles there will be a review guide in which (at least) a hundred different brands are reviewed. This is one of them. The 1-5 system you have in coincidentally similar to mine, except my catagories are:

Flavor (How strong or weak the soda's flavor is...does not necesserily relate to how good it tastes.)

Taste (This is how 'good' the soda tastes.)

Presentation (How the packaging is.)

Craveability (How often I feel (or would feel) compelled to buy it.

Overall (Self explanitory).

Anyway, I'd just like to say that while I'll vouch for the ridiculous name and graphic design, you'd have to be off your rocker to say anything for the taste of this shit. The ugliest cola I've tasted on this side of a Sam's Club Cola, that's for damn sure...

Anyway, anybody interested in contacting me regarding soda, the zine, or anything else can feel free to contact me at:

Hunt125 (at symbol...to avoid the spybots, you know.) msn.com. Or, if you are hip with the myspace, look me up at: www.myspace.com/hunterbrawer

Cheers!

Bekah said...

if you want to try it, someone sells it on ebay.

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