POP OF THE DAY: Jolt Blue

Category: "Caffeine-enhanced beverage" (see below)
Ratings (out of 5)
Taste: 2
Fizziness Factor: 3
Bottle/Can Design: 4
Availability: 3

Tasting Notes: I bought a 23.5-ounce torpedo tube of Jolt Blue because I thought it would be a blue cola. And how freakalicious will that be? I thought. Like Crystal Pepsi, only BLUE? Alas, no amount of italic musing will make Jolt Blue taste like anything other than cotton candy. Its high caffeine content, massive metal packaging, and abundant use of lightning-bolt graphics put it squarely in the category of Trucker Fuel, but of course the Jolters themselves beg to differ. To them, "It is regarded as a caffeine-enhanced beverage, which is a segment different than isotonics and energy drinks. Jolt contains 72 mg per 12 oz serving...which is twice the amount of caffeine found in Coke or Pepsi...and 42% more caffeine than Mountain Dew." (Their ellipses, not mine. I would have replaced them with a comma and an em dash, respectively, but I digress.) Bottom line: too big, too sweet, and it's making me lightheaded. (Total score 12/20)

Suggested Food Pairings: Corn dog, roadkill